i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
