Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This baby is an asshole
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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