I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
as a side note pls kill me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
