You work out of a Hotel?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
