It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
