just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
