he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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