She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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