I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
