I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
