I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
His hands were made for my vagina.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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