Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
