Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
