Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
