Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
