conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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