im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
