i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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