remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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