i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
