"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
