I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
