What did we do last night that was yellow?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
A bitchslap is in order.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
