Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize