New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
