That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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