you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
