im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
