Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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