Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
