we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
