Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
