a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
