If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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