I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
