Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Randomize
