you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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