I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
