Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
