Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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