How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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