Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
