I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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