I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
