Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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