I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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