Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
