Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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