2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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