i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize