As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
