I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
