Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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