who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
