Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
