just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
