she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
