just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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