i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
