grandma shit on top of the toilet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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