if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize