if you like me you must not know who I am
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize