he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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