i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
