I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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