can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize