doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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